Bikinis, pyjama pants: What not to wear on a flight

So from board shorts to bikinis, pyjama pants and yoga gear, here are some things that we’d like to see banned from flights.

Warning: Partial nudity below

THE ‘PRO’ ATHLETE

Sure, you might be wearing the signed jersey and the special edition ball hat, but let’s be real. You’re not with the team. ‘Cuz if you were, you’d be drinking Moët in a private plane — not sitting in 28D as the screaming baby next to you gets its nappy changed.

So unless you’re a part of the squad, how ‘bout retiring the sports paraphernalia to the back of your closet where it belongs. Thanks dude.

THE DISNEY FAN

There are statement pieces — a timeless watch, an of-the-moment designer handbag. Then there are mickey mouse hats. And despite what the nearest 11-year-old might say, the ears aren’t doing anything for you. A general rule of thumb? Leave the Disney fashion to the kids.

THE SURFER DUDE/DUDETTE

Yo, bro, nice thongs and boardshorts. Classic, “Just-got-back-from-a-week-on-the-Gold-Coast-let-me-tell-you-all-about-it” move. But, listen. Not only is it painful to watch you to shiver in the draughty cabin of a plane, it also depresses us to think that you thought a bathing suit was a savvy fashion choice off the beach. And that’s where you were so, so wrong.

And same goes for surfer girls — pack that bikini away when check-in time approaches.

THE PARTY GIRL

From the hoop earrings to the bedazzled clutch and six-inch heels, look, we get it — you’re coming directly from the club. And while we can only imagine how much of a breeze the security line-up is when you’re practically naked, there’s just something about your upper-thigh-baring LBD that doesn’t exactly scream “family friendly”.

THE SANDMAN

We get it: the golden age of flying is over. Be that as it may, show up the airport in a velour bathrobe with plaid pyjama pants and bedroom slippers, and we’ll seriously wonder why you even bothered getting out of bed.

THE YOGI

Yoga pants are quick drying, odour resistant and made of performance fabric. So they must be perfect for travelling, right? Negative. Not only are they overly tight and possibly blood-constricting, they’re often so sheer as to be completely see-through (and that’s without the X-ray scanners). They’re called adult pants, people. Try ‘em out sometime!

Oh, and finally, just what were these passengers thinking?